hello there, this exists to help my failing memory remember things I would want to remember a few years down the road.

RAWR.

haha, my hp bill has hit a new high..
what a climb.
i just cleared my bill with almost my entire angpow collection and i got whamed with another amount T_T

thus, lays is going to stop slacking and going working! working on 1mar, the coming thurs.
i have only slacked less than two weeks actually, minus the weekends and cny. but being me, i cannot stand slacking so much already..

this is the first morning i woke up so early since schooldays.
have been waking up after noon, which is very sian. i like waking up at nine am :) when u feel that you still have a long day ahead to enjoy. and not like u have slept half the day ahead.

ohyah, so i am going to help around my Dad's place, although i know it's more SHIOK to earn other people's money and not yr Dad's but they actually need help now.. yea.
then i can pay off the debt and earn some extra cash for school.
i need good financial management .___.

this is an entry done in ranting thus it's rather meaningless actually.

stayed at home for a whole day this sunday, haven't done this in so many months i think. have been reaching home at odd hours for at least 4 days this week, so decided to be guai today. enjoyed the time with my family also lah, certain moments were.. well.. nice.

friday night i went for IG 11's bbq. like, finally, since i skipped all their outings until this fateful friday. after the pepperdate with pamela at taka, went to RC with her and then headed down to cjc to meet the rest and headed to leonard's (leonard from my IG, not class) house, which was in bukit timan T_T

anyway, it was rather enjoyable. surprisingly i dont feel left out.. but the IG ah, they really turn every single decent sentence/comment into a dirty joke. >_< our chef, joel, is really super pro lah.. generally enjoyable outing, cabbed home and burn a hole in my pocket, ouch.

this entire year so far has been rather mad.
in these less-than-two-months, i know like around 50 new people, all in a new environment, utter new culture. then i discovered i am not as adaptable and sociable that i though i can stretch towards lah. in a few weeks, going to be thrown into another new environment. maybe this is how the govt ensure that we are all-rounded and have friends, lol. i am rather apprehensive but i am excited about it as well..

this time of the yr, have a lot of random gatherings, new class, OG etc. even meeting up with pri sch tuition mate the coming tues! come to realise that certain people u can keep in your life, some people they merely come in and leave an impression in the back of your mind, others you dont even remember, a few you treasure and bother to maintain the friendship..
it is rather cool seeing people grow alongside you. like how the klan and i used to wear boardshorts, tees and spects, to now, contacts, nice clothes and all. obviously i am not just talking about the physical appearance, but in terms of thoughts and likings etc.
cool to see munyee doing so well in her sch (: and esther too. oh, these are pri sch people i actually talk to till this date.

i think you are right.
i have limited energy. i am no superwoman who can do some body splitting and turn up at all the gatherings at the same time. not to mention i have limited curfew-breaking days.
i will still hang on and see how it goes, dude. (:

my body is malfunctioning recently.
ever since withdrawing from cjc, i have been slacking alot, waking up at noon then going out because people are only free after noon. this will not do man. i am losing my ability to sleep for four hours T_T

saturday was packed.
second saturday of the northeast training class, rather interesting.. guess the next few weeks would be more exciting.
if you are not coming, you better not miss out, rawr!
ended the day at tiamo with gi's team and shirley.
she shared some stuff that woke me up a little.. hurhur.

was wondering about smth this morning.
out there, people's self worth are dependent on many different things.
if you are muti-talented, can play certain rare instruments/play sports really well, you are valued. if you are in certain leadership positions, you are given certain amount of respect and ability to influence, whether those under yr leadership actually like you or not. if you are blessed with a pretty face, you will naturally receive more attention than other people. if you are rich, you are wanted. this makes me think of how me n sunny were discussing that in spore, to have good grades, you need to be rich. parents fund yr enrichment/tuition... so you will be better than the avrg kid out there.

back here, i hope the system doesn't go this way.
not the L nor the numbers.

only change is for eternity.
hahaha, mdm bumblebee taught us this is sec one.
the only thing i rmbered from a yr of education from her, lalala.

rawr.
rawr.
rawr.

i want growth,
and i want it soon.

owing to pete's tag, i went to read my archives.
http://layling-.blogspot.com/

oh yah, btw, the url is so lame because that point in time, blogger screwed up, and i created a new blog under the same url (ink-) then blogger automatically renames this older blog as my username aka layling.

i felt kinda refreshed too, somewhat... (:
many times i am just forgetful..

went out with pang huishan tday!

finally spent my taka 80 bucks vouchers! got an everlast jacket at this top ulu sports level in taka departmental store. shan helped me to exchange the excess 20 bucks voucher with a man queuing to pay for his stuff for 20 bucks cash.
huishan rocks (:

oh yah, then we were walking to wheelock place, where she donated a dollar coin to this guy basking w a guitar, and the son of the basker, a little boy, came to hug her. and lays, being scared of kids, attempted to zao. but no! the kid ran after me and hugged me too.
huishan was so happy lah "i paid a dollar and got hugged! he's so cute!"
i would pay a dollar to AVOID being hugged :)
but he is quite cute lah, the little boy...

enjoyed time with her, had our fair share of laughs and ranting while cruising down the really boring orchard lanes, and even while queuing to withdraw money.
and we were howling at the macbook huge banner hanging in cinne now.
(i was doing the howling thing, she's emrely imitating, lol)

gosh, i want a macbook...
if i go tp, thou shall get a macbook.

this cny has been really shiok lah.
after that late night bowling session, the 2nd day i stoned around more at home in the morning, then both yihui and i decide it is very no-life to do this on cny and decided to head out for movie session and jio-ed people along.

however, there was a mugging session before the movie.
so, ian and yihui were mugging or rather, trying to mug at the cathay, while i watch bleach<3 on ian's macbook. yea, it's rather gross to mug on the second day of cny, but they have tests/exams coming up so it's understandable.
dengky came along and did his stats on mac while i Q-ed for shilin, the only store opened. it was a miserable queuing, because i was dying from trying not to laugh. there was this noob couple in front of me, that behaved like they never seen shilin before... and the girl was asking stupid questions and the guy was obviously patronising her... funny.
qian jin came along and pass ian this zara paper bag with alot of snacks, vicks, vit C for his muggingdays. so nice lah.
cong came along and fickleminded ian decided he doesnt mind watching a movie with us already, when we only bought 4 tickets. so we went to attempt to buy a extra ticket... but everything was sold out. so i suggested to sell the tickets, and managed to sell three out of four to these three indecisive guys standing there and not knowing what to watch, lol! the last remaining ticket- we split the cost, rather memorable experience lah. (the pict shows the complete last unsold ticket, keeping it for memories sake)

so we changed plans and chatted along the way to find a nice place to dine. after much walking around, we decided on swensens. was having a peaceful dinner when noise visited us. noise consists of pamyeo, sunnylim, gary, stanley, big shawn, alvin. lol. they are noisy diners. so we were all at a huge jointed table, but the group was distinctively divided into two, rather interesting..

after that, the whole group of us went to arcade :)
i didn't play anything, didn't feel like moving much.
but played photohunt with them, no wonder cixin likes the game, lol...
left and ended up at home after midnight, whoops.

third day of cny, met up with the klan for norbit the movie.
you know what?
it is a HORROR MOVIE.
oh my goodness. the fat woman is like... a monster!
one of the most disturbing scenes.
that woman, who is norbit's wife, went to the waterpark.
at the entrance, the personnel in charge asked," i am sorry mdm, are you wearing any bottom?"
norbit'swife: OF COURSE i am *inserts crude language* and she LIFTS up allll her layers of fats to reveal her hot pink bikini bottom, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
half the time we were whining and feel like running away.
no wonder it's NC16.
rather embarrassing for my first NC16 movie to be norbit :/
anyohhow, we though it was a comedy... how we know it turned out like that T_T

after that, walked around a little with them and left to find cong at orchard. we then travelled to find the people at freedy's house, where i was informed i just missed the ben and jerry's ice cream and nice cookies ): ate kfc and nice agaragar thing and listened to the people sing..

actually only yihui, luan, free, gi and ruiyong sang.
i was lazing on the sofa and playing with free's laptop. lalala.
the day ended pretty short with me having to go home for another lame reason. :/
cabbed to novena with yihui who was off for some dinner...

this entire cny is filled with activities with friends.
can start writing a GP essay on lost of culture and weakening of family ties man.
but nah, i hope i don't need to do GP... 0 comments

one last post before i hit the bed.
tday was fun, after stoning for around 5hours in front of this screen i am looking at now..

headed townwards, was a rather different experience.
all the years of my life, i spent chu yis (the first day of cny) rotting at home, visiting my grandma and smiling at the angpows.
it was rather interesting looking at people cruising aimlessly around orchard, when almost everything is closed and they are still walking around.

the urge to splurge is biting so strongly after receiving angpows. (:
although almost my whole cny collection will be to clear my outstanding hp bill.. hope to spend the remainder on some decent (or rather, unique) clothes i need for poly.
the problem of limited resources (cash) and unlimited wants... lalala.

headed home and was conned into walking ard my hse.. grr.
went to grandma's and ate the food, and had a fun time suan-ing a particular uncle. though half of their jokes are either incomprehensible/unfunny, due to generation gap :/

after the dinner, while the night is still young.. went to meet people for bowling @ OCC. initially, cong asked me during dinner, cause they wanted safra yishun and i stay here..
in the end, had a few games with pam, cong, ian, gigi, jontay, peter and alvin.

felt really awkward in the beginning cause was told that only 2 bros coming, then in the end, so many people... thank God pam was around.. lol.
however, i was totally off form man, played like crap :/

but generally not bad lah, was fun.
brothers concentrate on the game more, and they were trying out various stunts.
like cong was trying a spin, ian was totally throwing the ball down the lane and played with his left hand etc. didn't know that cong was a sucha good bowler >_>

oh, jontay sent me, pam and gi home first, it's nice having someone who can drive! (:
reached home at 1230.
i enjoy coming home late...
but my parents dont, so got to know the limits yo.

so the day went from all low to ^^V
company matters.

i have been really lagging in my blog posts.

these are cups with our names on them. there was supposed to be a candle in all the cups.. but the sad thing is that yihui and luan took forever to light them but the wind there was so strong... they didn't manage. finally managed to ligh two, but they went off rather quickly, lol. the playground is rather fun. had fun playing seesaw with cong. it's fun jumping off the seesaw and cause the other party to hit his butt. :X

it was a fun night. (:
a really lame thing took place also. ruiyong told all of us to head over to his laptop, cause he had smth for us. and we went over to the table further away from the bbq pit, to see that his laptop is beeping and lowbatt.--" while we turn to head back to the pits, stupid sunny and freedy had ran away with the food they bbq-ed. it's a ploy man. and ruiyong got taupoked by cong and gi, lol!

sat ard and shared while digging into the food... then took cab and chionged home..
interesting to have bbq for vday. it's the company, not just the prog (:
(photos, yihui, PHOTOS!)

THU
my holidays have begun... the days of schooless-ness once again.
stoned around at home and went to meet pete and headed townwards for Hope@ And gathering.

(: days of working in the school.
the morning pm at stonetables, i will remember.
will you?

FRI
wanted to meet the klan for lunch but timing clash, so headed down to nexus straightaway.

i was really refreshed during pm (which i only saw 4 people from NE highsch side. the rest still on their way down from sch :/)... sometimes, when i really look back, have to applaud Him for His great plan, His reasons when they unfold. okay, i can't express such stuff properly, just that i am really refreshed, (:

the serv was really funny... when everyone tries to link everything with red packets.. enjoyed pnw alot too..

then northeast headed down to zhengfahhx for our reunion dinner. "
enjoyed last year one more, ate kinda little this time round..
things heightened a little w some rather random jokes that me in my sian mood suddenly came up with, whoops.
so.. we laughed.
and camwhore... but the picts r rather lousy. so better not post.. lol.

when we got lost tgt, we had a whale of a time.
we were panicky, but we had each other.
now you are lost, will you come back?

*

i don't know what else i can offer to you both..
when my thoughts very naturally drift to you both,
i feel like not thinking about it, i feel like not caring.
but i know i cant, and i wont.
God, guide me, i need wisdom.

SAT

got woken up rather unpleasantly by mum to head up to grandma's to help with them offering to the idols. i am just there to show my face, because i can't cook (:
my auntie came with her two kids and i helped them instead.
the little one is p2 and she has this real cool gadget. it's a phone cum mp4 with a okay camera and is threequarter the size of my hp. the graphics in the phone itself are very cute!
the boy is p5 and is doing Gifter prog. i dont't dare to help him with his maths >_<>

yea, and at this, i shall end my blabbering.
im till bored though...

this post is to prove that my cny is really boring and that's why i dont like it :/

i just woke up an hour ago. and i slept at eleven last night, my goodness, so early.
this year family reunion dinner was rather sian, because of the lack of a domestic helper, they decided to do away with steamboat, and just ate the usual dishes, just that there are more dishes and it's better food. but still... i like steamboat :/
the kind where you have this huge spoon thing, then put stuff that you wana eat in and then leave it in the steamboat. i kind of like it when the entire family has their spoons in. it's a warm sight, for me anw..

everyone is growing up. perhaps in many families, the change isn't as evident, most of the people are still greatly dependent on the parents.. for mine, my sisters are married and they have kids, my bro is always out of the house.. so everyone kinda do away with the cute thing we used to do as kids. we used to line up in a row in front of my dad after a simple reunion dinner, from the eldest to the youngest, say several 4 word chinese greetings (which is actually ard the same every yr, our standard not there lah) and will receive angpows in return. nowadays, Dad would just come and give the red packets out during dinner..

after the dinner, people linger around and chat and soon left. so, i was so bored i went to sleep..

too me, cny is more like a festival where people where somehow go around and give me money without me doing anything. so, that's the wonderful part. oh, and the bagua and various goodies, they rock too. but to someone currently having a killer sorethroat, they dont mean much ):

maybe this year i will have a breakthrough and have something to chat with my many cousins about, thanks to my grandma having so many kids.
next time, when all the family only has one or two kids, cny must be even more boring.

sian-ed.
fellow sian people, please jio me out!

my JAE application!
yes, i only put three choices. it'd a whole mixture of feelings while pressing that submit button- fear, excitement, paranoia...

since results day, all the days have been spent pondering over the options and the entire decision making was not fun, really. whenever idle, the mind automatically drifts to the whole "now what? which way?".

and it got alot worse with the many people "ten points go poly? so wasted!" and how certain people see it as us taking up poly spaces, who are for stupid-er people. this i totally disagree with.. poly people aren't stupider than jc dudes --" well, we are giving up jc spaces while doing this too.. aren't we?

actually i wanted to go to poly since sec 3. and i really thank God for yihui's constant chanting of "Must keep an open mind." if not i probably would put in less efforts in studying...
it's not a rash decision, because i have been thinking about this for quite some time.
and i know i want to do design.
how i always envy those design students with their mounted pcs of work walking ard, get thrilled by amazing graphics (yea, sounds a little sick) on those Art getaway trips with cixin, toyed with art materials my whole childhood, im pretty sure i enjoy Design. and yeah, i knowArt isnt Design. philo kinda made it clear on the first day of ycom meet..
and i don't think i will do it till i hate it.

but at that pt in time, there were many obstacles lah.

i am pissed.

look at yourselves, dont be pathetic.
it is totally possible to live a day without having to see each other.
yea yea, she means the world to you.
if someone decides to be funny and scratch her oh-so-pretty face, maybe she wont mean anything to you at all.
love? yea yea, love.. pft.

*

after all these time, you still dont get it.
what more can i do man..
perhaps i wont care if i dont have to.

*

putting yourself in the right light, coming with some seemingly right reasons just to end it all off.
rather jerkish. but then again, i dont know everything, so i dont have any right to judge the situation. whatever it is, your loss.

*

when puppylove gets dangerous.. things get troublesome.
when people misuse words like "love" and "forever", all in the spur of a moment..
cut the crap.
(:

tday lays self declared holiday again, whoops.
totally overslept... but managed to meet guihao and jieying (is this how u spell her name..) on time at tampines interchange.

gui wanted to ask abt their courses so i went along also. TP is becoming really familiar to me.. anw, i was rather entertained by the sight when we got there. in my mind i pictured an (aka ONE) enquiry booth, but i got a shock when i saw the entire auditorium of booths, one for every single course i think. they are really sincere man.

got kinda sian-ed by the VSC booth person, because she say like as though jc life would be a breeezeeee, that i can easily excel, get my As in As and go to ntu adm faculty. but it's okay, i heard that.. hahaha, nvm.

the three of us went to eat lunch at business school canteen. - -" i ate some jijiwawa thing.. next time better ask ard before attempting to lunch there.. the ponnerkia ian came and the four of us went to some lab which i charged my phone and he showed us hellstage of cavestory.

had a very very shiok nap on 969 back to yishun then grabbed food from coldstorage n went down for VDAY special cg! super fun (:
we decorated the place w candles and dried leaves and flowers, attempts to create a romantic atmosphere. it was not bad, despite kar's paranoia and "DONT BURN THE house/bible/pinafore/curtain/hand!"

it was just an enjoyable time, sharing life.
laughing due to a super challenging song... lol.
doing spastic things like chasing one another w a really harmless water spray, act yoga-ish poses midst the candles n flowers..

thanks deng for helping w e guit.
hung ard amk, bought snack n dup keys.

it's time to return to sch tml...

due to lagging, blogging all at once.

i actually feel nervous about tomorrow.

perhaps i lag, the butterflies only start coming yesterday night and today afternn. i know that there is nth i can possibly do now to change anything, but i am just anxious about all the decision making that would follow right after tomorrow.

was really tired after cross country yesterday and overslept, thus skipping school today, whoops. and i discovered that bernice cheng pon sch also, lol, and we went out tday, not preplanned! two people with a sole objective of entertaining each other and running away from reality. >_<

these are the people i walked and ran (a little) with, we were playing lame number and word games while strolling along the reservoir. came out of it to the main road section and saw "1.5km more!" then got surprised and ran for milo...

we gulped milo, the milo van drove away, and council attempted to entertain us, lame jokes dont work all the time.. they had mass dance, but boo, noone join in, so we merely watch the mass dance, gave out prizes and headed out the reservoir (:

cabbed to town with pam to avoid the mass of blue at the busstop, tore a hole into our pockets with erp and peakhrs surcharge T_T then had a rather fruitless shopping trip. ate, chatted and went home exhausted.

i feel like i am blabbering.
must be the butterflies.

my fingers hurt. ):
i cant play ball to save my life, or my fingers for that matter.
today we played vball for pe again, and i had a mortifying experience trying to make the ball fly up and over the net in an impressive manner while being scrutinized by the pe teacher who was seriously pms-ing.

i have been going to school in a half zombified state almost everyday, especially since i slept at 330 this morning. half the lesson got absorbed while the half is spent trying to not lose consciousness and drift off. it's miserable living all the weekdays drifting in and out of sleep. it's not just lack of sleep. it's really boring..

it's a sort of a homerun today, i'm a happy girl, lalala.
my efforts didnt go down the drain. (:

anw, i attended one of the most interesting wedding dinners on sunday. yah, it's another family function which i dont personally know the newly weds. both of the groom's brothers are designers, who own a firm tgt. (cant find the site right now ): ) because of this, the newlywed had the privilege of having three vids, as compared to most weddings w only one.

the first one is the normal one filled w all the photos from childhood to marriage of the guy and the girl. the special vid was this uber cute self created cartoon which showed how the couple met and went into courtship. everything was created from scratch and the couple did the voices of the cartoon characters tgt. uber cute. the other was the recorded footages of the morning, which showed the torture the groom and his brothers went through to enter the house, including brushing their teeth w wasabi >_< they edited super fast, and it was really funny. (:
so, this wedding was more of an eye feast than a feast of the mouth and taste, lol.

sunday morning's QnA session w Brother David Chen was really refreshing.. his testimonies are still as exciting and encouraging as ever. like how freedy said "ting ta love God, hen xiang wo men mei you love guo God" (see him love God is like we never love God before)
lol, sortaaaa, because wow, he's an admirable bro. (:

strengthened, refreshed somewhat this weekend.
faith > fear.

i thought i knew but perhaps i really dont know how.
the internal tug-of-war seems to be getting more vigorous by the day.

*

friday was a short day at school.
almost vomitted blood though.

lays cuts out the photo of the levi's redtab advetisement for the GP collage.
(the photo is this woman who is topless BUT she is posed in such a way that nth! can be seen.)
he-who-shall-not-be-named: *looks at picture* is that a guy?
lays: o.0! no, it's a lady.
him: !!! this is such an indecent photo, can u like, cut a shirt and stick it on her?
lays: what?! but she isnt's even showing anything! she isn't topless, she's just backless!

oh wells.
went to nostlagic thomson plaza with pamyeo and we had a fair bit of trouble ordering kfc --" ate and chat around, went to walk around the boring mall, ate jelly (:, and left for AND.
went back to AND to see if we could invite people..
did a p.walk around the school, let it really rain down there..
oh, we realised...


anderson's mini forest and pond (or rather, porn, as the lame joke goes..) area has grown alot!



this was when it was still under construction.
yah, this is long, long ago, long ago.

this is the luxurious growth of plants, haha!







and this is when pam and jon got bored. tarzan and jane?
actually this area, which was previously considered a JOKE by peers and myself, seems kinda nice now. hopefully the millipedes would stop reproducing though.
oh, the student lounge is also rather well equipped.

maybe the walk did bite at some parts of my heart.
haha...

when will fifty come?
when will the promised glory-er days come?

school has been kinda the same, but 1T02's getting quite fun. (: funloving people, but seems like all want to leave cj, aww. oh, we ran twelve rounds during pe on wed. past two days have been busy doing bulletin stuff, it's great that it's ready now. so, have been physically worn out recently.

yesterday, i manage to pon chinese :X left one hour early while the rest was having chinese to far east with Pam, Bing Yun and Fion for lunch at fareast. (pam braided my hair!) had a simple and casual lunch with them and then left for school again.
this reveals one of the reason why i like CJ. it's ten minutes away from town and retail therapy. (though far east is really sian like ....)

i discovered i joined the right slack cca. 2hours, once a week. for FSV, we had a "lecture" on camera parts and functions for about ten minutes, went around school snapping shots with those pro cams, came back and edited on photoshop.
haha, cca. hahaha.

today school ended at 3pm due to maths test, which i surprisingly didnt fail. it's like amaths... so i did w.o GC (since i dont have one. GC= graphic calculator) and managed to pass. there was an utter lack of integrity on some people's part, somewhere at a corner of the class, and it's pissing. hung around with classmates in the canteen. they were all eating this uber spicy maggiegoreng thingy and running to get more drinks, rather funny to watch.

left soonafter and met seepeng and rachel. had a fun time talking about school. apparently there's this new tcher in sch that dance a dance step every lesson for maths. o.0 and heard abt mrs allison lim and all (:
the two guitar enthusiasts were happy i got my guit along with me, and we went to the nearby amk void deck area to play w the guit. my incompetence to guide them to play better bites at me, lol. but it was fun just playing simple tunes w the guit lah. these two crazy girls decided to act zai holding my guit so they kind of walk me to the mrt station and we splitted for home. met the Hope YJCians on the way there, typically urging me to go yj, haa.

tomorrow's friday, finally.
i really wonder how next friday would be like. will everyone go for PM after getting results?
i remember the entire scene when the seniors got their results last year. this is the pict where me n jo took with JAY (jenny,amanda,yuyan) during resultsday. oh, they all did v well, look at the smiles (:

after that, i wonder whether i will reporting to the school on 23rd April..

Jan just flew by like that, know so many people in an utterly new environment in short span of time. very soon, got to know people all over again, whereve i decide to go. Jan has been really hectic, first month there's so many ycom stuff to rush, when i am so far from AND physically and yet wants to impact the people there, that i can go through lessons and totally dont understand what's going on (actually mostly LIT lah. >_<) etc.
this year is a whole new different year, new beginning.
kinda looking forward to what's to come. (: