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Saturday, February 17, 2007 @ 3:59 AM

jae :)

this is rather lagging. have been dying to blog about this...

my JAE application!
yes, i only put three choices. it'd a whole mixture of feelings while pressing that submit button- fear, excitement, paranoia...

since results day, all the days have been spent pondering over the options and the entire decision making was not fun, really. whenever idle, the mind automatically drifts to the whole "now what? which way?".

and it got alot worse with the many people "ten points go poly? so wasted!" and how certain people see it as us taking up poly spaces, who are for stupid-er people. this i totally disagree with.. poly people aren't stupider than jc dudes --" well, we are giving up jc spaces while doing this too.. aren't we?

actually i wanted to go to poly since sec 3. and i really thank God for yihui's constant chanting of "Must keep an open mind." if not i probably would put in less efforts in studying...
it's not a rash decision, because i have been thinking about this for quite some time.
and i know i want to do design.
how i always envy those design students with their mounted pcs of work walking ard, get thrilled by amazing graphics (yea, sounds a little sick) on those Art getaway trips with cixin, toyed with art materials my whole childhood, im pretty sure i enjoy Design. and yeah, i knowArt isnt Design. philo kinda made it clear on the first day of ycom meet..
and i don't think i will do it till i hate it.

but at that pt in time, there were many obstacles lah.

like how i know my parents wanted me to get into Uni, because my siblings aren't Uni students.. but recently, they have really changed the way they view this, totally gave me the green light to go ahead. Dad even told me "results good then go poly lor. not good, just stay wherever you are (cjc) ..." o.0
then i rmb a few times where me n xin would look at the mrt railmap at the stations, and whine about how crazy it is to take train from yishun to bedok/tampines daily.. then i discovered the wonderful 969 bus, lol.
there were times that i feel that gg to poly would hinder my ministry, cause of the schedules and everything.. but apparently it is so untrue that jc people are more available.. yah, like really untrue. oh, i heard that in tds (temasek design sch), u get to choose yr hols in 2nd sem. coooool.

this one and a half months at cj really made me dread jc life.
dont get me wrong, I LIKE CJ. like the culture, the people... but i detest the subjects, and how we have to write essays all the time, and everything is like based on impression marking. zzz.
just dont feel like struggling through it again.. it is nauseating, for me ie.but if the only reason you are going to poly is to escape jc life, it's gonna be troublesome..

and i kind of wonder if the govt is aware that there are plenty of jc students who have no idea what they want to do even when they have completed their As. and they even have the motivation to study for it...weird.

anw! a few posts back, i was talking abt how a particular TP lecturer said that Unis would favour jc students?

i emailed ntu and they replied me (:
hahahahahahaha!

so...
i got to start fretting about my wardrobe.
unless there is a divine intervention and tds doesn't want me...
like what freedy says "no man can thwart (coolword) God's plans."

anw thankyou all you people who were there to hear me trouble over the options.. those people that i chat regularly w online..
and the klan.. who always seem to believe in me more than i believe in myself.
so, even if u still thnk i hv chosen the wrong path, pray for me and wish me all the best lah. the decision is made, can't change already..lalala.