hello there, this exists to help my failing memory remember things I would want to remember a few years down the road.

how come the days last time seem so much easier and happier?
i feel weak nowadays, like i just want to piak and lean myself somewhere..

oh and i cut my finger while cutting those @@#@$#$% squares.
and i am scared of blood.
really.
but i love bloody illustrations.

drowning. 0 comments

am taking a break here chewing my fav fourleaf choc donut and having the radio playing...

yesternight i didnt want today to come,
but it came and is going away soon.

this is the worst block of the three i had so far at TDS.
by worst i dont mean challenging or packed with many assignments, because i like such blocks. by worst i meant dreadful, deadening...

visual presentation has so far been boring. how can cutting 10 squares of the exact dimensions and ensuring that they are as identical as possible, and buying so many mounting boards and carrying all the murder-weapon-look-alike stuff to school be really fun...

but im sure it will get better soon!
because towards the end, we gona deal with typo and images on comp! and mount our work up!
in the meantime, got to hang on with trembling arms while cutting the boards since i dont have much strength. and pekghek is such a great fairy godmother i dont bear to hate her lessons.

3D FUN (aka fundamentals) is ironically, sheer torture. everyone is going "oh no, i wonder if he will like this..." instead of whether it really looks aesthetically appealing or reflects their style and liking. it is just... unprofessional. i cannot see how a lecturer should have such biased taste and narrow mindset... and making his students conform to it. but i had some of my fun going to the workshop spray booth with many classmates and spray-painting my wire sculpture. :)

creativity takes courage.
some slogan off a random notebook zhiying and i saw in the bookshop. very applicable to us right now, lol.
next next week when we finally hand up our final assignment for 3D fun, lays will be the happiest girl alive. that is if i manage to come up with smthg that i like and doesnt jeopardise passing the module...

my emotions totem, lol. random drawing.

anticipating the next module, finally using comp! and the other ones, after our well-deserved sept holidays- 17sep to 28sep (: 0 comments

I AM BLOGGING FROM HOME.

i finally have wireless access at home, no more doubyxchange, no more np.bk (:
thank you brother-in-law.
(so i discovered he reads my blog today, or rather, confirmed my suspicions, just weird lah.)

today is a simple sunday, which is very rare where i just hang around with family, am going to visit grandma later. i suppose it is a good thing since the last time we did this was really donkey years ago, because the maternal relatives live far far away.

went to IF2 with yt and robin, but unfortunately, the animation had some technical error and was not able to show... but i guess i learn something from this, that whatever we do for the church ultimately is to aid in people receiving the love of Christ, though sometimes it may just seem good to be able to showcase works. but all in all, what really matters is that scene during altar call, where the many people take that step.
was thinking about this on the way home with philo yesternight.

this time for animation, i didnt really help out much... because i couldnt really..? guess will learn along the way.
so thank God for all of you behind the scenes, especially steven, philothea, puaylin and jiancong! all that long nights. thank God for all of you!

so...
on friday it was my dear barney's birthday. :)

went back to anderson for the aguides campfire. let's just say i was impressed with the backdrop and gateway. nothing else much... am glad to see the juniors again, though i really really dont remember some of them because i am old and my memory is failing me just one year after i step down. x.X oh, i got super traumatised when a sec one guide heard my random question to noone in particular and went "yes, mdm". i havent been called mdm for eons okay.

the two ponner kias, renying and cixin, went to the campfire too. cixin couldnt understand the culture. but i guess, i grew out of it? i was looking at the entire campfire (oh, the stupid school made them hold it in the hall) and i was wondering how come i could be so high at campfires last time, lol. so the two of them excitedly climbed the gateway. (:


i guess that huixin and the other seniors were rather thoughtful to have amb to play bday song for ber along with cake and all, though she was really malu-ated. they celebrated ganjiao's bday too, since he was there as well. i really wonder why though, why go guides cf on yr bday when u arent even a guide???

lol, so i went off to meet huishan and jasmine, giving ber an exaggerated story (she very easy to bluff one what) while the rest sent her home and she was rather surprised to see us outside her house... brought her to the nearby tauhuay place, beancurd city, because dear ber likes simple dining kind of thing. so it's a rather different experience (:

this is us smiling happily...


this is us again, smiling TOO happily, thanks to the funny dude who took the photo...

so... success!

i wonder how many more such birthdays we will have together...

today i went to the kopitiam near my pri sch to buy western food, and i realised im now too tall for the counter. when i was like pri4 or so, i needed to tiptoe a little to rest on the counter, now i bend over... i just feel a little old, or rather, am growing up kinda fast... 0 comments

so today i became stronger.

after the lecturer called my work "the worst", "ugly" and "disgusting" in front of the whole class.

haha... it was this rubbish art. as in, literally. we had to make a 3D sculpture from recycled materials. so in my excitement, i forgotten that it is supposed to be a 3D sculpture, and made it very collage like...

oh yah, this module is called 3D art fundamentals.
in contrary to what i thought it was- teaching you to draw in 3D/angle drawings, it is all about sculptures. ._.

i know how bad i did, so was rather reluctant to turn up for lesson today, but i know i cant run and cant hide, so went anyway and hear his many words. take it in my stride..? it is rather embarrassing and humiliating though..

maybe it will become a vicious cycle. because i am so discouraged by his comments then cant do well for the next piece then the feedback gets worse etc, lol. oh wells..
i have nice friends though (:
yt said i looked very depressed, but i didnt realise i was looking depressed, as usual...
so when i took bus with her, she encouraged me etc. it's just reassuring and livening... zhiying gave a few pats on my back... haha. i appreciate you guys!

must add a disclaimer: TP lecturers are not so mean one, at least those i have met.
that guy is just so great that he made me dread school for the first time in the past months. it is just that he is either hypocritical or forgetful, because he can say that your work is good today, and bad the next..

i was scared of my drawess tcher because she seems really cold and i cant draw still life.. but it all turned out okay. the worst thing that she ever said was "redo."

so i will do what yt said and "bury his demoralising words".

just a rather interesting school experience. 0 comments

):

all that glitters is not gold.

the sky is gray. 0 comments

this is lagging, but the drawing essential module finally ended last friday, so glad, so glad...
some of us went down to visit syaf working at the starbucks near fullerton and the sky was so pretty that day.

thats the uncompleted singapore flyer with the ndp stage, rather cool lah...
but looks so tiny... wonders how many people it can actually sit.

then rushed off to deliver the bulletin to nexus, while being paranoid that the wind will blow and all the precious pieces will end up in the singapore river..
i think God is really good to me.
initially i couldnt find a good place to print in school for a cheap deal because the lib printer's quality trashed my hopes, but joy overwhelmed me when i discovered that engine has good and cheap quality print... its the best we can have at that pt in time. but w.o tt, things will be really really bleak, not how i want to celebrate end of module...

then went back to cityhall to meet for yihui's bday celeb!
went back to esplanade area, and i feel retarded going there twice.
it was a simple celeb.. guess everyone is so tired...


this is us at esplanade
siewluan crazily poked eighteen candles into the fruittart i got for yihui and forced her to blow the candles. oh, its fruit tart cause got kiwi... ._.

and...
my final assignment piece for drawess.
nthg really impressive... but... im happy with it lah (:

the concept is about how the hummingbird broke free of its comfort zone of the flowers (supposedly daisies... but hummingbird dont even hang around daisies. they hang ard flowers with nectar...my bad, my bad) to touch the cactus which most avoid... and thats supposedly my hand, to say like how i wish this would happen... though a part of the reason for putting it there is to fill up empty space, whoops..

and and and, finally met up with xuefen and brought her to hope for identity service.
she enjoyed herself i guess (:


went to sty over at cong's to (attempt to) help with the animation after supper at jalan kayu...
supper makes me a very very happy (and sleepy) girl.

had caregrp at ruizhen's place on sun morn and played the "of course" game inspired by the korean tv show, it was... hilarious... simon is the most entertaining guy alive...

new modules started. many things to do.
a greater reliance and dependence..
must be dissatisfied with rushed QT... hmm... never heard it put across so straightforwardly before. true, true.

you seem to grasp things you let go of even tighter... 0 comments

i marvel at how an image that takes a minute or less to register in your mind,
takes ten over hours to do...

the final assignment for drawing essential is making me drown in eraser dust, taking a short break here.

yt is drawing her grass diligently, patiently and with much perseverance.
robin is drawing his dead log and it looks nice...
*stares at own drawing and decides to go back.

oh oh and the seniors that are in the same room as us... they are so funny. i had to keep pretending to sleep while laughing, since they talk at full volume. really relly very funny. yiyou hangs with fun people. hahaha.

*

yesternight i did something i never did before,
i wonder if i will regret it...

*

MEIJI ROCKS. 0 comments

im blogging from home!
my Internet is in a good mood.
God must be being nice to me, have been working on the if bulletin since i woke up (it is almost 5pm now), which was seven plus am. it's my own fault that i have to be doing it now due to happily procrastinating last week. and i never join the rest who is drawing in school now ): shall go find them tml!

and it's going to be done! so can go out and buy breakfast/lunch/teabreak.

hungry...

oh, and i attended my first WAM vision night yesternight...
the intercessory team people prayed for me, and...
gave me these verses:

Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Isaiah 40:30-31
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

hmm... 0 comments

Why are you so downcast, O my Soul?
why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my Lord.
-Psalms 42:5

DRAW, DRAW, DRAW...


frappe's bittersweet.
the time for a choice would be time for game over. 0 comments

i got tagged by pam yeo >:/

Please read the rules first: Each player of the game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged needs to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you'll need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. i have many phobias. but weird ones would probably be fear of moving toys? go google for tickle me elmo. it scares me. i think the stupid solar-powered toys you see in actioncity is horribly moronic and sadistic. can you imagine if the poor toy is real, and you make it shake or nod or its head all the days of its life as long as the sun keeps on shining? moronic. and i fear huge mascots taking off their head, so you see a human head with a giant mascot body. yikes.

2. i like bloody illustrations but i hate blood in real life.
i like sadistic illustrations that shows cute chopped off body parts, as long as the parts dont involve eyes.

3. i hate pink but i like hot pink? and i hate green but i like the green on my blog?...

(this is so hard lah. ): i am not weird...what... *stares at screen for a very long time)

4. i feel more attached to things that i damage. eg my dear k750i phone.
oh oh, this does not apply to Crumbs. i love it before i knew it already, so no need to damage it.

5. i have not watch a single harrypotter movie before, except a little bit of... *insert one of the titles* but i read every book till halfbloodprince because some kukumalu told me dumbledore died the next day the book was published. i hate hate hate spoilers. RAWR.

6. i hate BK and i am sitting here using their space to do this?

so the suay ones. who cares about six...
i only put the names of those who i know read this blog and update their own regularly. HAHA.
cixin, jiancong, yuenteng, zhiying, chia weilun timothy, jonquek, seepeng, sarah..

yesterday didnt go for service since Dad had a minor accident, but he's okay after like 5 or 6 stitches... scary, scary, thank God it's not so serious. was going to leave house for service when sis called and had such a shock..

and, i am addicted to heroes.
thanks to the entire series being in Crumbs.


save the cheerleader, save the world!
the storyline is amazingly good..

oh adding on to the previous entry,
my classmates call me names, and i am so hurt...

HAHA, like real.

they say i look like lawyer/teacher/accountant/SALESGIRL (thanks to me carrying crumbs ard) etc etc. i say its all because of the spects ):

and i have no photos to show recently cause i have no life.
my life revolves around chickenchop/bao/crumbs/hp/heroes/my 01 pen/2h-3b pencils and my bed.

i am sleeping too much.

and am ranting here. why are you reading this... dont waste time... 0 comments

i realised a while ago that today is friday...
this week really flew past man, with all the school + stayback + go-home-and-attempt-to-do-work-but-doze-off days.
oh oh and i am very proud of myself. i spent like a quarter of what i normally spend this week!- because i took the effort to jot down all my expenditure which i wont rmb due to my sstm. wahaha! though i still feel that saving is for eventual spending... ^^ but its a good thg lah.

so... school has been rather interesting.
i laugh every day.

i like my class, think that it is a good mix of people?
yt and i were staying back ytd and abandoned our attempts to do work and start chatting randomly, was super fun.

amidst the hustle&bustle everyday, we stroll from class to class, conversations punctuated by the piercing laughter from phyllicia and jasmine(tan). if you think my laughter is weird/ scary... when both of them laugh together... its tsunami-inducing or smthg.

then will come the random crap from allan siew, the guy who looked SO SHY when school first started three months ago, always sitting at that corner of the first table. he seemed to be really keen in starting some F4 revival or smthg, with all the nonsense he says.. and he will be inseparable with terence lim, our wonderful and hardworking leader, who is very (ah-)pek-ish, HOHO.

in this class, i met the funniest girl i ever know, YT. her expressions are so priceless i have been trying to take photographs of them since like, forever. and she is the type who is funny, but really unintentionally, lol. and the conscientious zhiying who is very all rounder \m/, very sweet spirited... ^^

recently, robin has been getting us to join him/ joining us for drawing sessions, sincere and genuine guy, lol. i have always known amaris as the smallsized girl with a huge voice, and is dilligent and good with her stuff man.. yingnuo who is always so smiley and amanda who stilllife like a pro, ...

and i havent forgotten the rest of the class, just that i am too lazy to write descrpn for everyone, im awaiting my class photo. :)

history lectures finally ended today!!! so just submit on monday and chiong our A2 and it's time for new modules, woah, fast fast...

i guess when it comes to polylife, everyone is pretty much in young adulthood and all have their own stuff to do? there will be those who excuse themselves after school to find boyfriends and friends, those who work part-time... everyone has their own set of program...

just random thoughts...

TGIF, TGIF. 0 comments

so today i learn a painful lesson.
not toy with your comp so much and not to empty trash so hastily.

):

i deleted my entire history journal which i have faithfully been doing for the past 15 sessions. T_T
but thankfully, there are eighteen entries safe in my thumbdrive and i have to redo twelve :/

so i learn that
01 Mac does not have easy recovery software now, and once you empty trash, you can start crying.
02 backup files!!!
03 true friends stick when you are in the pits.
dear yt has rather panicky when she realised i deleted those files when i exclaim aloud and tried her best to help and was there. i was rather comforted and she really made me laugh and cheer up rather unintentionally, let's say that talking to her is therapeutic.
thanks for all the other concerned people too, and those who try to retrieve the files (:

just redid like ten of them, and it's 936 and im still in tampines starbucks...

i will be very careful next time...

yt thinks it's so "cool cucumber" that i dare to be out here alone and chiong work like this. i think starbucks atmosphere is good, they make you panick. because th queue is so long, and i always feel that i am hogging seat so i do faster, LOL. i guess i have been hanging around alone at many places recently to use net. :( think i got used to it after Os and grew more individualistic? i wonder if this is for the better or not...

oh, zhiying, yt, robin and i went to the bookshop today in attempt to find the cool cylinder thing and look cool while carrying our A2 drawing. the scene was just hilarious. i love how my classmates make me laugh. laughter is good medicine, and so is comfort food.

guess in the midst of many jumbled up thoughts and emotions and handling workload, the emotions have been going on rollercoaster. Oh Lord, take control.

and i am off for a bumpy ride home... 0 comments

gosh, just got the final assignment for draw essentials.
it is in A2, which is rather intimidating, since we havent done anything that size yet...
and i like surrealism...



2 surrealism pieces by salvador dali
pray for some great inspiration to hit me and i can come up with some great concept T_T, hoho.

got to learn how to be patient with simpler people..
0 comments

i know this is kinda lagging, but still want to post this up.
lets say freedy is really eccentric.

he wore this shirt with his gamescom people's names- danfeng, me, jess and ruiyong on the last day of camp as a way to thank us. HAHA.

i am bored. ):
dont like hist lesson...

haha this is the stupid sign in sheet we got to fill in everyday, and yt always very kindly help all of us write. and this is amusing, we all hate the way she signed our name, so that happened, rofl.

recently, have been hanging in sch lib after sch to just draw with classmates, rather enjoyable, better than going home and struggling to keep awake...

other than that, life has been rather routine-d...

i guess it isn't right, but it makes me happy.
at least temporarily.

0 comments

someone once told me,
he was very talented in his craft.

he told me,
he began the way everyone did, and he worked hard,
and he became skilled in his craft, and so, people deem him as "talented" now.

hmm... this makes much sense to me.

not knowing agape love and giving love, its still genuine, isnt it? 0 comments

who determines one's beauty? self worth? value?

...

sometimes i wish i could believe like how they did in me. 0 comments

they have been losing that smile,
those peepers.

*

pam got me this pretty badge :)
and visited me on fri at douby then trained with me home and walked with me to pick up yushans phone that day.
ARIGTO girl.

and thanks for remembering and getting those juice mags, yihui.

and yet the day had to end that way,
not everyday is a rainbow day,
guess it was a rather lousy saturday,

but really enjoyed watching people battling walmond over puzzlefighter, had a few fun rounds with him also. ethan actually won him on his first try o.0!

oh, thurs, went to ngeeann poly for the first try of the recording, and it was so fun.
but NP is really intimidating, they use fingerprint scanners for entry at some rooms..

maybe i am really too impatient.

yeh, got to go bck to my not-really-there FIFTY sketches. 0 comments

this is my wonderful history group! (:

the one above me is giant aka yt, the one next to me is yingnuo and the only guy is our leader, terence lim, hoho.

and during drawing essentials this lesson, we had to... draw lines..
now you see us,

and now you dont!

flooded with around 30 pcs f A4 with grids and circles..

have to do 50 A4 pages of sketches by next tue...
and i got no school tomorrow,
muggers, wana mug while i draw?
SMS ME. 0 comments

i have nice classmates who go downstairs far away to buy food for us...
as i am typing this, it's chaotic with "what you want", "if no chocolate how..?" blah blah...

since i bring the now-graying Crumbs to school everyday, i shall blog.
my class is slowly forming a Mac Club, just like the minops people.
so far... there's like five i think..
we have Ah Mac, Star etc in church, and Robin has decided to name his mac teh-peng, which is actually seepeng's nick, so it's all rather funny.

and yesterday went to lunch and do work with a grp of classmates, had fun discussing about many things, while they dot and crosshatch and i chiong the stupid hist journal.

met up with yiyou after that and headed down to little india for girls' night out with Shuz at a barefoot dining restaurant.. atmosphere there is kinda nice with the lighting and sitting on floor and all, so everyone pretty much chill out and relax after work/school, over nun and plenty of meat.

the dinner seemed like a game to me, since we got to order our food with spice level attached, lol. apparently my table took zero, HAHA.

oh and i got conned.
by xinyi.
T_T
for about an hour plus?

she took my phone, changed the ringtone to level eight aka max level and to some gross old ring tone, and changed the names of some people and passed it back to me, so i threw it in my bag unknowingly.

then ring, ring, i of course didnt think that it is my dear phone, which is 24/7 silent, and i looked and thought it was the speaker, and puay agreed with me. so the entire table thought it was from the speaker which we assume they connect upstairs so they could hear the phone..

so xinyi and jiali laughed, and laughed, and laughed,
until i finally discovered it is my phone.

and "sweetheart" was calling me.
they changed philo to sweetheart, cong to kfc, and puay to imprettierthanu

...

so i got conned. ._.
*insert stupid look*

currently drawing lines and lines and lines and lines and circles and lines.

i never liked sleeping, maybe i will...

i am confused. 0 comments

we are drawing fruits in class now.
i mean, we are supposed to be.
teacher is gone and we started our picnic cum self-break session, which explains why i am blogging.

argh, still life is too still for me, i cant sit still and draw still life.
oh wells.

(and the lecturer walks in and lays goes back to dotting starfruit unwillingly)

guess year one class is always interesting, since everyone has different areas of forte and stuff, that the class (yt: robin lah, not the class) has came up with a new term, "the hidden dragon", for those people who suddenly emerge as pro people in the particular module, but were not as outstanding in the previous modules.

everyone is waiting to be the hidden dragon! (:
everyone wants to be outstanding and assured that they are really in the right course.
there are small talks of changing course and stuff, especially when modules get tougher..

but when the going gets tough, the tough get going!


thats a little lame drawing out of my sketchbook.. long story...

and i will show you my purple sky.

0 comments

i really cannot draw hands and feet.
got myself "drunk" with ice milo this morning but still died-ed at 430am after drawing ugly hands and feet.

it's annoying how i still cannot adapt to waking up early after that one long month of holidays and get tired very easily...

anw, finally tasted matthias' wonderful culinary skill at puay's house on sunday during caregroup. he cooked pasta for all of us. and woah, it's super nice.. but i got to leave before the fondue started T_T

yesterday! i had a ketchup session with ber over ben&jerrys @ cathay.


muahahaha, talk about comfort food.
and talk about great company! had fun sharing life with her, and we sat there for 2 hours? the people around us probably change for thrice or so. took a long bus ride home, as usual, but i dozed off halfway. T_T
anw, i thank God He place her in my life, hoho.

and xuefen just told me she's giving her 21stjuly to me, yay!
0 comments

i am a thief... lalala.

i had a great ending to a good day.
just returned home from tauhuay with cong, lun and lee.
the great thing is lun was craving for his fav chongpang nasilemak, so he got cong to go with him, and the two other yishuners tag along since they dont know how to walk there..

so we had tauhuay first and just chatted about everything under the sun, like really- from oral experiences to random school stuff and to weird theories etc, was fun.. and got more tauhuay and their nasilemak and cabbed home..

eversince i joined Hope, i realised the variety of food i eat actually expanded. tauhuay is a wonderful supper fellowship tool man and an alternative cheapo comfort food, esp the outlet at serangoon central which many emo-ed at, lol. then the katong laksa(sss) near church office, otah...
might be shocking to many people, but i dont eat all those stuff in the past one.. haha.

after service and much sitting around at meridien, had bday celeb for walmond. i guess he is rather mysterious to me, since i had never talk to him properly except for that icebreaker session at sentosa which we had no choice but to exchange random favs so as to not get drenched by the evil gamemasters...

but throught the affirmation, i guess the pict of him got clearer. LOL. guess it will still take me time to know many people in minops but i am really thankful that they are really open and not exclusive nor inward kind, really treat the newer people the same, make me feel belonged and stuff, haha.. i guess i would need the support and encouragement, boss philo met me over ben&jerry and shared about the upcoming to-dos and happenings, things are hiong man. so i need my God and His people (:

oh, friday, i reluctantly headed back to anderson for speech day and got locked out of school. reluctantly because... i just dont like the competitive atmosphere. maybe jasmine is right by saying i am a little insecure there, but when i head back to the school in an occasion when i have to meet my peers, i often find a need to appear really happy, although i am TRULY happy doing what i like to do.. there's just some form of ostracism? like top institutions = superior kind of thing.

oh, so i sat outside the school with some of them who got locked out too, and talked nonsense. oh and i heard smthg absolutely disgusting. the school used to have this glass room place where they would display students' artworks etc, but it has been replaced with results slips of everyone. like... it is nauseating... i dont see how such thing is healthy for someone emotionally?

talk about love hate relationship with your school.
so while i was sian-ing over the whole school thing, my very kind friends were so high i couldnt low on my own so i got better, learnt a game from huishan, received a hp accessory from the ajcians, and just ate ze cha with them at amkcentral. was a homely and warm meal, in the drizzle. hoho. emo emo.
arigato, people. i dont know how i would have survived sec sch life in that cell w.o you guys man.

and it goes to show that the andersonians need to know there is more to life than studying... sat serv reminded me of gods promises and i just kept thinking of haggai 2:9, about the time we celebrated having multiplied. and deep in my heart i wish to see this promise come to past (: so, seepeng, huitian, sarah, yiteng, rachel, WORK HARD. of course this goes to pete and the guys too (:

and the busride home with ber was simple, heartfelt and i thank God for you dear (:

picture-less posts...
because i am lazy, muahaha.

it's july and this next half of the year is absolute madness, but i am hoping on! 0 comments