hello there, this exists to help my failing memory remember things I would want to remember a few years down the road.

In school early.
Recently I have reaching school early, and I don't know why. I am never awake during the journey to find out why.

A true polaroid.
Mandark got hers at fifty bucks at the lomo fair. T_T I wish I had gone to get it too. Cool to see your faces and the colours slowly appear. (though rather freaky)

School has been really tiring, even though the new block just started for two days..?
But surprisingly, I am learning something from Wee. Rare lah. So far the lecturers normally don't teach enough or they don't teach at all or they bulldoze through. Just that I will T_T through the lessons. Still life line drawing mah. And he really can draw.

Brr, gona freeze later. Why do I always leave my jacket at home on rainy days...? 0 comments

Sometimes, people girls I tend to expect others to reciprocate the same treatment that I have given them. Often times, this doesn't happen and I get disappointed.

Help me make you the centre of my life again. Priorities seemed to have gotten a little mixed up along the way aye...

*

This Sunday night out with the family is nice and relaxing. Seeing parents just putting work aside for a day and playing with the baby and even shopping (though hastily) together just makes me a little happier.

*

God, give me a sudden miraculous ability to paint. Pretty please..? 0 comments

For a VSC student, I think I post rather unprofessional photos on my blog.

Lazy to edit mah. Lalala. 0 comments

Got home from a night of laughter, talking random stuff, tauhuay and nasi lemak. A good night out of supper fellowship propelled by love. Tonight I knew Yao Guo more and I realised he is not as cool as I thought he was. Same goes for all the other MinOps people, lol. Had fun with him, philo, cong, shuz, jiayi, daniel leow and gwen.

I guess being in MinOps opened up my eyes to the fact that the world is going to throw things at me that I got to take, as I journey on Life and grow up with each step. Currently, all I want to do is do my ministry well, study aka do design to my best and juggle this with family and precious friendships. Already rather complicated.

Then, I hear about all the 20-year-olds in Uni. And I realised that in another few years, it would be me grabbing booklets at the Australian study fair, thinking about furthering education elsewhere unless NTU finally realises TDS is so good and they should just give us advance standing. It might also mean working for money or experience necessary.

Oh promoting! Do watch Trick 'n' TrEATs on Kids Central every 1pm on Saturdays. It is a show done by my shepherd, friend and boss, Philothea. She is the assistant director of that show. (;

That added some uncertainty in the distant and adding on, i hear about the frequent missions trips/ Thai trips and trips to other parts of the world. Then I thought about how I only visited Malaysia, China, Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong. There is really many other places to go and open up my eyes to how God sees it.

Yiyou is going on a Japan History of photog trip with Chee Yong and 24 other students. So cool T_T

Shirley preached about growing today. Indeed it isn't a natural process. I wish I will be given more time to grow up and not be a grown-up so soon. Sometimes, the physical age means nothing. I want to be old in the future with an equally mature mind and growing spirituality even. In the meantime, I will slowly take my small steps and enjoy the process and the careful details planned by Him to mold me slowly.

*

I met up with my dear YT yesterday.
The original intention was that she will do some illustrations for me for my church bulletin, which we did, a little.

And more of food- laksa for (my) breakfast, ben & jerry's and bread. And shopping- she got her shorts and i got my bag.

It was just a great time of catching up.
I never thought I could relate with someone who doesn't like chocolate 'cause I deem them as weird. But YT is weird in a good way!

I love end of blocks.
I bet I will love end of next block more . 0 comments

today... i...

IT'S OVER! (:
Pcomd and Marketing folders are moved from Desktop to to the School folder.

What a block, really. Those who took these two modules would probably understand my agony. Taking two writing business like modules at the same time makes you feel like a non-design student. And both are group work and just very business like. Think "market segmentation", "trends", "client", "proposal", "profit".

Relief.

Had movie date with Philo and I very intelligently picked Resident Evil: Extinction, without even reading up much about it.... And it is a horror sci-fi show. T_T We really T_T throughout. Yea, the effects and all were cool. But chomping on smuggled subway clubs while staring at mutated white faced horrid beings chomping up healthy looking human like yourself... is not exactly very relaxing. Haha, but we had a relaxing chillout talk at coffeebean after that. Fun and meaningful night. Reflected about these five months in this not-new ministry myself just now and penned down the struggles and overcoming, so I will remember. (:

This is the view from my pretty school's library meeting room. Fun fun place with lame people like Jiashern, Terence and Kevin while talking about Marketing, haha. And I thank God my Pcom group has been cooperative and totally efficient man. Xie xie Dan, Sarah and Zhiying (:

A little breather over the weekend, and it is time to write and paint...
My dear clique, I never got Jap cause too high in demand ): 0 comments

What drains me is not the workload.
What drains me is not the impossible deadlines.

What drains me is people who has no motivation.
If you just want to pass, please return to secondary school. Because there is when we struggle to get passes on subjects I am unsure why I took.

Design school is not about passing.
You do your best for yourself, for the pride of your work and because you respect this craft.
You dont just freaking want to get things over and done with.

(Not talking to any one in particular) 0 comments

Taking a break.

Oh my gosh, tomorrow is a day of battles.
Battle 1: Present the best MkDes presentation ever.
And convince everyone we know our stuff. Though not everything...

Battle 2: Run and chiong for add/drop.
Stupid clash in timetable.
Oh God, please give me a good CDS too.

Battle 3: Convince Squarehead that our slides are all okay.
Rehearse for Final pres.

Battle 4: The written proposal chionging.
When we are not even sure what we are supposed to write.

...
God... help me help me help me.

tiring day ahead. 0 comments

I am hungry. Really hungry.
Haven't eaten since morning because... there is no food at home :X
Ate tones of junk food but I guess dinner is on its way... I hope.

Today is a really really really sian day.
Really unmotivated to do the things I ought to be doing.
Such days don't happen to me often. But when they do, it is really frustrating for me.

Any how, looking forward to end block this Thursday- movie date with Philo, a Friday chionging for Nov bulletin and getting sis a present, Ycomm meet and fruitful Saturday and combined MinOps cg on Sunday...

My dear O and A level friends, keep on keeping on!
(If you actually read this, please hit the books! Haha.)

My dear PW victims, jiayou...
And my dear clique, I WANT TO GO OUT.

*

No point crying over split milk, even if you think of it all day.

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Magazines make me wow at everything and become materialistic.

The apple fan here has a new item of lust.
It happens when everyone you see has an iPod.

And I like the lime green one :3

But I browse around, think the specs are not ideal enough.
The capacity is too small too...
But it is really pretty... argh. And you can customise the wallpapers leh :X

And I found a less ugly phone to consider.

The purple one is still weird. Cant find the white silver picture.
But the back is cool.

And and... Sony is being... irritating.

T70.
When T20 was out not that many donkey years ago what.

I like gadgets.
Gadgets that look nice...*g33ky look.

But I dont need them and I cant afford them...
POOF. 0 comments

I am going to watch my first esplanade musical!!!
I don't look like I like musicals, but I do!
Chitty chitty bang bang. Gona watch with Philo, EC, QianJin, Sunny, Freedy and Derrick.
Rather unique combination... Haha.

(photo kopped from philo)

http://www.sistic.com.sg/cms/events/index.html?content=1067

Time to save up!

End of next block. What a good treat! :)

Oh, please remind me to wear my spects that day okay.
Need to go find some cheap spects to get and not lose them... :/ 0 comments

At the corner, I saw a familiar sight I could identify with.
I guess it was because of that I felt my heart sink a little.
I quickened my pace towards home, the wind was in my hair,
the vision was blur... I wonder why.

There's so much to grow in, to put together and to keep moving on...

*

The stamp workshop this morning was somehow imaginable, in terms of famous artist's age... I guess it was interesting to see how he designed stamps from 1960s till now, patriotic man and really great with his skill too.

He went through our works one by one. It was interesting (limited vocab, lah) to see other school people's works. (and secretly feel shiok when we own them.) Lol, it was just nice that I have talented schoolmates. He likes TP works even though we were severely outnumbered.

Funny.

Subway-ed with the stamp people and left soon after...
After service time was enjoyable with ycomm (even when we were having mini meetings), yiyou, xinyi, gwen, aloy, jerel...
entertaining when the girls went to stare at people at the arcade trying to hit the jackpot prize and spending so many gold coins. And winning a great lot too. Many nice girlfriend-coaxing boyfriends around... So we had many people to watch.

Zi high-ed about "clubbing", random sound effects and movements etc, and ended with supper and running for the last train...

Saturdays.

We will get there,
I will too.
Lead me. 0 comments

I am here and running away from the evil clutches of Marketing.

Studying marketing really makes me feel that the world is an evil place, and that we are all counters on a rich and smart businessman's chessboard, and we always fall snugly into his well planned and thoughtful strategy and send millions rolling into his already-very-fat pocket.

Ironically, advertising, a part of Visual Com, is one of his tools.

Nothing beats starting the day with good and simple breakfast.
I like breakfast but I don't like mornings. I never wake up early enough for proper breakfast.
Today is an exception!

There was a big hooha in school today, about the new timetable.
Sigh, so it is true we are never getting back to our sem1 class, and I got to go for add/drop.
It is time to reconsider another CDS and stuff.
I am excited since next sem we are finally learning real stuff- typo/layout, photog, applied illustration...etc. Less foundation subjects... I wonder who is in my classes. Too tired to go search already, lol.

Very soon, it will be the beginning of another block after the two major proposals and presentations. Taking MkDes and PcomD tgt is really, really, really confusing and mindblowing. Block system makes life speed up.
I really want to treasure this poly life. Sem 1 is ending so soon.

The half formal people.

*

Lasts make me a sad girl.
I dont't have any liking for goodbyes.
Yet there is no avoiding them, no matter what the deceiving heart insists.
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Ben Wai, Aloy, YK, Cong. Hahahahaha. They walked in with Philo and the cake. Was amusing.

That is Xinyi trying to catch the melting wax before it drips on the pretty B&J cake. <3

Hahahaha.

14 Oct: Us at the simple Bugis Yukee stall, (:


Lays the chip and the book of greetings, handmade with love! (yt: pui.)

15 Oct: Wong Cixin, last one among the seven to turn seventeen.


Ber and Jo were bored and playing with the cam.

Seventeen is indeed a not here, not there age.
Time for growth. A time to discover and slowly get there.

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4th entry of the night, hahaha, random fleeting thoughs.

THANK YOU yt and zhiying for the handmade potatop chip plushie and book!
I am once again, awed by your sewing, handicraft, illustration skills and creativity.
Thanks for remembering I hate clorets, love meiji and hummingbirds.
And THANK YOU all those in the beloved class who left a message. It made my day.

THANK YOU esther chan, you who live a door away, and read my blog. And remembers that I love mango cakes and have them almost all my bdays in primary school and in Sec 3. I never knew that the tiny mango cake tastes so nice.

I think I should sleep. And stop driving my mind insane with thinking. 0 comments

Keep forgetting to blog about this in detail
One fine day, Cheah Shern Jia Shern, Kevin, ah pek Terence and I went to interview the Action City boss.

He told us on the phone he is "an ex NAFA student, on the design team" so we thought that he is some intern dude or small fry, but he is THE BOSS. And he is willing to entertain us though he is obviously very busy. And told us that we "deserved a chance".

And he is just so humble and inspiring.
Can tell that he is taking this chance to motivate us and not merely talk about marketing. He kept telling us cannot throw Design's face, that we are young and full of potential, that Design should be part of everyone's lives etc... Spoke deeply and sincerely, told us that he wants to be a platform for local creative individuals to have a chance overseas.

He and his team actually do all the visuals aka decoration for the stores themselves. Some toys are their own inventions too.

SO, SUPPORT ACTION CITY.
Just don't buy freaky head-bobbing toys. 0 comments

For the 5th year, 14th and 15th October have been busy days for this crazy bunch of people I adore.

Happy seventeen, Wong.
We have finally all reach seventeen.

Really glad to have known you and share life together.
Hopefully there will be more years to come.

I really cannot find a photo Xin and I took together in my new comp.
Or a photo we don't look retarded in, so I gave up...

And I think it is so sweet they will set aside two days just for us, so both get enough "air time". Haha. Should do a chalet some year... 0 comments

Sometimes the desire to do well robs you of the ability to.

In this journey I just embarked and banked everything I have on,
I am taking time to discover, and I hope You will give me the wisdom that I need.

Take away and let me break free, for I know You have much to give me. 0 comments

(For the friends who read this blog and who I actually talk to, please skip this entry)

I have to spend an entry on this because it is really getting on my nerves and I cannot be bothered to compress this into a 160 character 5 cents worth message. And maybe because I can currently upset with someone, so it is easier to type such annoying entries.

So here, to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,
I would really appreciate it if you would leave me alone.

I do not appreciate someone whom I do not even talk to telling me how to lead my life better and it abhors me how you pretend to know me so well. No, you don't.

I am perfectly aware that I will meet with difficult situations in life and I also know it is alright to have emotions about them, and not dwell in them. I am very thankful for the people in my life who takes care of me and my God who holds my tomorrow. So I think that my life is okay.

So, please stop reading my blog and smsing me crap that makes me utterly perplexed after reading it. I do not need you to keep watch over this life. Maybe it is hard for you to believe, but I do have friends to turn to when unfavourable situations arise. And I think they do not mind being troubled by me for such incidents.

I am NOT appreciative of your concern. So please do not spam my inbox.
Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,
Lays.

grr.



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It's been a long time since I am home so early on this date.

THANK YOU bernice cheng, wong cixin, pang huishan, jasmine ang, chng renying, lim qiao ling all you people. For remembering my fav childhood duck rice, for always being so resourceful to find those friends of mine, for the efforts put in.

I'm sorry it's so short and things got to happen ):

They (Cixin) made me such a sweet card.
photos up when photos are out, lol.

And thank you all you who remembered, it means a lot already.

We are indeed growing up, the lame surprises, sabotages and creative ideas are of the past. Just simple meal out with people that matter and that is just good enough. (: 0 comments

Today is one interesting day.
I almost fainted at YCK mrt. So i got out and laid on the bench on the platform. Like seriously lie there. And my oh-so-compassionate fellow Singaporean counterparts took turns to stare at me. I do know I am creating quite a sight, but I don't want to attract attention, I need compassion, not attention.

I was too weak to move or shout, so i sms the people I was sms-ing, like Cong n Philo. And they very kindly cab down to my rescue. Such sweet people. And the station person finally discover and wheel me down just when Cong arrived. What a sight. Everyone was staring at me on the wheelchair. -_-" So i went to rest in the MRT staff office and they made me milo. And it was so entertaining that the guy made Cong fill in the feedback form while i was resting.

After a long while, I was much better. And this is why all 3 of us skipped harvesters meet. So sorry and I am really thankful for you guys coming to rescue me ^^"

Service was fun and sermon was way insightful. I never knew that there were so many different kinds of false teachings going about.
Minops had dinner at PS foodcourt. The Minops 2 people gave Ethan hamsters for his birthday, omyyyyygosh, they are so cute. Bon and Jovi. They must be tired entertaining the many hands, fingers and faces poking and looking at them the whole day...

And...
THANK YOU EVERYONE for being at the celebration.
Thanks Philo for being so thoughtful and sweet and planning it out, all from the framed "LAYS" to the customised and shiok ben and jerry's ice cream cake and the box of cards. I really appreciate all your handicraft work and I know it takes time to make them (;
Thanks Cong for your ultra long card and the cute blue owl that is purple, Thanks Steven for the so well illustrated card, Ben for your so cute card, Puay for the CD card, Jerel for the confused zebra seagull, Xinyi for the crane and note, and the notes from Shuz, Eevoon, Yiyou, small Gwen, Carmen, Amelia and Jiali. And Kaixiang for the greeting and card!

And everyone for the bamboo tablet! I will doodle for God even harder!

Photos up when photos are sent. ^^"

For all You've done
For all You're going to do
We give You thanks
And lift our praise to You

We give thanks
We give praise
For we know
That all things work together
For our good
We give thanks
We give praise
For by faith
We know Your grace
Will see us through

For all those things
That we don't understand
We come by faith
And place them in Your hands

Even if we stumble
Even if we fall
You will not forsake us
You are King and Lord of all
Lord of all

Thank you God for wonderful people in my life,
Thank you for showing me you know what I need. 0 comments

I am currently stoning in 2D Art Fun class with natt and yt beside me while waiting for pcom interview. Not nervous yet. There are many things I wanted to pen down but I kept forgetting.

Many people (aka Robin) have been saying I have been looking and sounding stress. School now can get rather miserable with many things to do. But yay, no more daily essays for mkdes and pcom should be paced slower too. Another thing that has been tugging... I hope it will just disappear and through it, my understanding of God will reach another level.

Another thing is regarding grades.
All those in the Spore education system have been complaining and grumbling about how unfair the system is and one's intelligence should not be judged by one examination blah blah. Just heard another round of this from Yiteng, Seepeng and Xiuwen at their caregroup yesterday. It was nice talking to them again.

For design school, we have been talking about how lecturers are biased towards certain styles and their preferences, such as the infamous "abstract". And sometimes or many times, it is reflected in the grades they give us.. And another thing is regarding effort vs fruits. Many times the amount of effort put in may not necessarily bear the fruits one desire.
Got to slowly accept it and not let grades affect the value of the works to myself..

I think I have been forgetting to blog about my caregroup sessions but I am really enjoying them. They are simple and relaxed and always bring about light hearted laughter and joy. Yesterday's session was short and fruitful too. Last week had a mini welcome for Yong kang and Carmen with kfc, pizza and mrs field's brownie cake (!). The traveling really sucks sometimes but always find it worthwhile. Especially when Puay drives us a distance out. Thank you Puay!

And I am meeting some designers later with Cong to share some stuff. Felt really blessed because it was a last minute change from tomorrow to later in the afternoon and everyone was willing and can make it.

Another thing I have been thinking about recently is how I really grew up in Hope.
heeeeeeeeeellllllllo the pple who loves lays the sour cream and onion flavourrrrrrrrr!!!!!(: alien attack from nathalie who is distracted and not painting her abstract piece. They are supposed to be inspired by Styrofoam pieces. rofl.
I realise that Hope is the one who introduce many food to me. This is random.

YT told me one day that I always have a differing opinion or an opinion of my own but I never really realise that myself. I guess my value system was set in place in Hope and it is so encouraging to see many people's lives, whether they are close in my life or that I only know their face but hear about their stories.

Yesterday was just hanging with Rachel before cg and viewing some photos from early this year or last year and it is just great to remember...

Oh, i better start panicking about the interview that is 50minutes away. ):

Times I strayed, times I was weak and broken,
You are faithful.
Bring me through this too.
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Hillsong London,
Greatest gift

Condemnation falls away
Never more to call on me and I am clean, yes I am clean
The powerful work of you in me
Breaks the chains of guilt and shame and I go free, yes I go free

I take them to your cross and leave them there
Captured by this grace I’m free at last

It is the great gift of Your salvation
Working in me, working in me
It is the life giving taste of heaven
Your kindness revealed, Your kindness revealed to me

It’s the greatest gift of all
It’s the greatest gift of all
It’s the greatest gift of all

Your mercy’s pouring down on me, Your mercy’s pouring down on me
And I am clean, I am clean
Your mercy’s pouring down on me, Your mercy’s pouring down on me
And I go free, I go free

*

Through this, may i know You more and more.
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I woke up, put on my postman cap and went to school today because my face looked ghostly from bad sleep.

Today was a horrible day.
I was exhausted from doing work this early morning, when I woke up in shock at 5 to realise I have not completed Pcom stuff but went back to sleep anyway and woke up at 6+ and trudged to school.

Marketing is stressful because there is an essay due everyday and it is marketing essays, not emo essays. You need to talk logical crap. I was just half dead in class trying to do Pcom work while lecturer went on and on about some marketing mind map. Pcom was mostly wasting time waiting for our turn for mock interview. Was suay enough to meet mdm Chan whom we all owe our stamp designs to on a loo trip and got briefing and another pretty deadline.

By the end of the day, I was so drained, physically and mentally.

Was supposed to meet the rest for dinner before TCC but i overslept, did not get out at Tanjong Pagar and woke up at JURONG EAST. At that moment in time, I was really contemplating just hopping on the Marina bay train which has aptly arrived and head home. Adding on, my phone was low so I could not contact the rest. ):

But i did not head home and crossed to take train back since I figured I will only be a little late for TCC. So droopy shoulders and sighing, I got into the train and looked out of the train windows, and got blown away.

There was such a beautiful dusk rainbow sky. The whole sky was coloured from crimson red, to golden yellow and spreading across the spectrum to soft blue and indigo.

Promise, the word rang in my head.
Thank You, the heart sang.
I had an encouragement card from above and right when I needed it so much.

I would have chosen to oversleep.
I know meeting the rest will definitely cheer the tired mind, but it will not settle it.
I have been so caught up with everything. That little detour gave me time to think and breathe.

Enjoyed the TCC and made new friends!
Thanks Philo for the dinner. If not I will be starving. (:

Another bullet train night, but my heart's different now. 0 comments

I am here to take a breather.

This is crazy,
There are so many things to do I am driving myself to the edge.

(Why, isn't that perrrrrfect, that is what the director's talk today is about..!)

I feel like I am becoming like Cixin. Oh no, external monologue.

So the point is that I think Moses' talk made plenty of sense today, I am used to his preachy style and like how the principles are biblical.

And now I go continue my war with the hateful Marketing, do up some unpretty formal act-pro layouts for a Blockhead, draw some stamp designs, think about....

*

Oh God, I am so unfaithful. How come it is happening again? 0 comments

I am blogging about what everyone believes is one of my fear topics: Kids.

Recently, my nephew Keven (Keven is the 4 yr old one, Isaac is the 6 month old one) is developing a certain liking for me, which is very odd because I normally try to avoid being in direct close contact with him because it makes me stressed because I have absolutely no clue how to handle kids.

So after drawing little smileys on his fingers and a lego session with him (because I feel nice that day), he will "xiao yiiiii~~~!!!" (little aunt) me every time he sees me. And I heard from my family he will look for me whenever he comes to our house and I am not in.

Today, I went to his house because my 2nd sis just moved house, and played a little with him and he held my hands and refuse to let me go. When we all went home, he cried.

Moral of the story: Children are really very innocent.
When you are just a tad nicer to them, they can change their perspective of you. He used to be afraid of me like how I was of him. lol.

There are also my two other cousins that went to the house visit with me and mum. They were in kindergarten when I was in primary school donkey years ago. Then I was a very mean cousin. They used to come down to my house for dinner every weekday and I would be very upset because they are very noisy and possibly because I was an attention-deprived kid. So now when I meet them I feel very shy. Like a little remorseful and all. But today I actually chatted with the elder bro about bleach and send him a bleach song and played lego with the younger sister to entertain Keven together.

Oh oh, we exchanged numbers. All the fortunate handphone-in-pocket primary school kids.

Moral of the story: Children are very forgiving and forgetful.

Maybe, kids are actually not scary.
Sometimes hanging out with them and observing really makes me think of:
Luke 18: 16-17 But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.

Reminder: My future clients are not nice forgiving kids. Nor is the brickhead biz lecturer.
So I got to go do stupid company research now. ): 0 comments

Slept at three thirty, writing a stupid marketing report on Action City.
Glad that I can use InDesign now, despite the struggling.

Lalala.

I have been very no-life this week. Just lunching and going home after school.
Yesterday had a meet up with Philo at J8 and she accompanied me to take photos of Action City, lol.

I sound like a Poly mugger. Haha, oxymoron...?

Results were out yesterday too. I am rather happy with mine. Hopefully the room for improvement will be filled up. Ha.

Lecture starting... 0 comments

I don't like to live in fear.
I don't like to feel weak and vulnerable.
It feels like the pre-Christmas period last year, and that really sucks.

The world out there seems really complicated.
Ther are so many things I don't understand.
Lies, assumptions, questions. I am confused.

I don't know what I am to you, and i stopped guessing.

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. -Psalm 33: 20

Thank you YT for Octopi. <3>My skilled friend made this herself (wor).

School isn't like business school now.
It IS BUSINESS SCHOOL.
*tears hair.

I am doing marketing in the morning and learning how to get employed in the afternoon, like writing resumes and cover letter.

*

Decisions, decisions.
It is really God's testing now to make a stand and decide.
I need to think and pray.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8: 28
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