hello there, this exists to help my failing memory remember things I would want to remember a few years down the road.

Was refreshed and yet re-stressed.

This week has been madness. I cannot really recall the exact happenings but I know everything went past in a blur and it was rather horrible. There were a few school minor deadlines and the camp comm stuff deadline is drawing nearer and nearer and up to our necks. The motivation is low, especially in school, because we are doing fine arts and abstraction which normally results in me drawing T_T everywhere. As such, the willpower is super low and it just affects the mind to be mentally tired and the body refuses to work.

Today was a good break. Sometimes I feel that ESS' sermons can be similar in some aspects, but today's one was good for my wearied soul. It was like a continuation of a casual chat with Freedy this morning.
9:51:52 AM f_(e_e)_d_y. inspiration ? tsk tsk tsk... rmb to call debbie and ruiyong..:
God loves ya lays
9:51:57 AM f_(e_e)_d_y. inspiration ? tsk tsk tsk... rmb to call debbie and ruiyong..:
so stick close to Him all rights
Simple, but we often grow too complicated for simple truths.

Coming back to the Source again and singing "you laid aside your majesty" reminds me of the good old caregroup leading days, because we sing this song quite a few times, because of kar's then-limited guitar skills and my so-not-there vocals. I have been reminded again and again about His faithfulness through those days and I know it is the same now.

These few days have been feeling so inadequate in skills... and other complicated feelings. Sitting beside Jiashern makes you feel hopelessly slack and amateurish yet our self termed philosophical discussions are really quite interesting. He asked me if I would exchange something that matters to me a lot to be a top designer, a top artist or whatever I want the most for. I answered "Nope." rather unhesitatingly. Before I went to Poly, my second bro-in-law was all for me going overseas and getting my degree, coming back to spore and working for some huge MNC and be rich and young. And I told him, "but I won't be happy. I want to be a designer." (actually I don't recall saying this aloud, maybe I answered him in my mind.) Then he asked if I want to live in a big house and have lots of money... and I said I like small houses, which is still true today and I am not really for being very rich. I just need enough.

And I wondered if all these will still be true. And how God will use me in this field.
I am so not there yet. But then again, how there is there...?
"We will get there"- Cong said this is my fav phrase.
And I still believe it. I just ask God to make that little faith stronger.

There are some things I need to fill and get together, and I know He is patient.
Which is great, because I am not.
I need more directions and revelations, and I know they will come.
When I am ready.

Meeting with Y-comm this evening was a tad disheartening.
I feel that I am close to my limits, but I won't give in and be scraped dry...
Things will work out in the end, because we are not in control but He is. He won't mess up his church's celebrations (:

And I met xin, ying, jasm and pang!
I miss you guys so.
And jo and ber.
Everyone is so busy. But i am thankful we still try to meet up.
And thank you for listening to me rant.
Soon, soon.

A big Thank You to some people with their timely messages and jiayous and er, "equipment"-
Rachelfong for your many random timely msgs, Sarah, Jonquek and your compassion, Cong and Steven for surviving this morning tgt via cyberspace, Ian for your charger, EC for your camera, Y-comm team for "team leadership" (aka one for all all for one. one die, all die.), the clan, YT for telling me our papa in heaven will kill arrancars, shuz, and the list goes on... and yea, thanks God. :D 0 comments

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